Fibromyalgia...

I am in a severe Fibromyalgia flare right now so I thought it would be appropriate to share some things. I came across a video a few weeks ago that was very interesting about Fibromyalgia and chronic pain. It is a long video but worth watching. If you know anyone with Fibromyalgia or chronic pain you should watch this video. Since you are reading this blog post you most likely know me so that means you should be watching this video!! I worry often that since fibro can't be seen, people think I am being lazy, overreacting, making excuses, or complaining too much. Those are usually people that are not educated about fibro and what I am actually experiencing. There are many many people with fibro that are on disability and in bed on a daily basis. I am thankful I am not that severe. I try not to complain and then people think I am doing ok. Most do not know what my life is really like. I just want to educate as I am sitting here with leg pain, knee pain, hip pain, side pain, rib/sternum pain, arm pain, back pain, and a migraine. The "fibro fog" is so bad I had to email my professor to have her explain a sentence in a paper I have to write. It took me 20 minutes to write it. I don't understand anything that I understood a few days ago. I can't spell (thank goodness for spell check). My professor is giving me an extension on the paper if I need it even though it isn't due until December 8th. She is educated about fibro and totally understands. That is great! Being too active, not getting enough sleep (I have a sleep disorder), and stress are major triggers for a fibro flare. My sister and step dad have chronic pain so some of the video relates to them as well but it focuses on Fibromyalgia.

You can click on the video to get to it directly on youtube if you want to see it in fullscreen.

The Keeper of the Stars...

I have a little more than one month of school left this semester! It has been a whirl wind of a semester. A lot of things have happened....

• Starting an internship has been super exciting and of course stressful. I love it though. It is hard balancing school and an internship but I'm starting to get the hang of it.
• I managed having cancer and all the scary waiting for test results after each test.
• I got through IV treatments following which I vomited in my car on the way home. It made me quite ill.
  
• I was in the hospital more times than I can count having every test done known to man. You know that when the pain is so bad that Dilaudid (10x stronger than morphine) is used instead of morphine that they knew I was in horrible pain. I get through it! I have such a great support system.
• Charlie developed a very large mass on his belly area and had to have major surgery. He is still healing and has been doing great but he is hanging in there. Both the vet and the pathologist had never seen anything like it before. It was not cancer though!
• Through all this I have been able to maintain my straight A status in school! Don't ask me how. I guess I would just have to say, day by day. I just registered for my last semester of school. Graduation in May! WOO HOO
  
• Also through it all I have had my awesome Brian! He is my rock. Through all the hospital trips I was constantly telling him not to come or to leave when he would show up. I was worried I was going to end up being a burden to him or that he was going to be tired of me being sick all the time. Been there done that. He made it very clear that it would never happen. He would find out where I was and show up and made me promise I wouldn't go to an IV treatment or to the hospital without him again. He has stayed and taken care of me, he has slept on the couch, and even stayed up all night just to check on me.
  
• So Brian and I have an unofficial UN announcement. HA HA Most of you know this anyway. Brian and I are not officially engaged because he has not gotten down on one knee yet (though I expect it in the near future). However, we have tentatively talked about getting married on Friday July 8th at the Mesa, Arizona Temple! Our anniversary is May 8th so the 8th part will be easy to remember and July 8th is on a Friday. We want to get married on a Friday morning. It will be hot outside for pictures so the earlier the better. We will also have time to spend with family on Saturday. For those unable to attend the temple ceremony we will have a ring ceremony before the reception Friday night. We are hoping to go to Prescott Arizona for our honeymoon. We just totally changed our plans on this a few weeks ago. There is a nice Marriott there with gorgeous views and rooms with fireplaces. It will be nice and cool up there during July and great to get out of the heat. One of the coolest things is that Brian's wonderful mother offered me her wedding and engagement rings. Brian's mom and Dad were married for almost 25 years until Brian's father passed away 5 years ago. Brian's mom is now remarried. I am incredibly touched and honored to be able to wear those rings that represent his parents love.
  
• WOW this is getting long. Not blogging for so long and being overly stressed is making me go nuts on here! Finally, the song that Brian and I will most likely dance our first dance as husband and wife to (yes we have a lot planned for not be "engaged")! :) The words are at the bottom for those of you who get a headache from country music (Sisser).
  

Tracy Byrd--The Keeper of the Stars

It was no accident me finding you
Someone had a hand in it
Long before we ever knew
Now I just can't believe you're in my life
Heaven's smilin' down on me
As I look at you tonight

I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars
He sure knew what he was doin'
When he joined these two hearts
I hold everything
When I hold you in my arms
I've got all I'll ever need
Thanks to the keeper of the stars

Soft moonlight on your face oh how you shine
It takes my breath away
Just to look into your eyes
I know I don't deserve a treasure like you
There really are no words
To show my gratitude

So I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars
He sure knew what he was doin'
When he joined these two hearts
I hold everything
When I hold you in my arms
I've got all I'll ever need
Thanks to the keeper of the stars

It was no accident me finding you
Someone had a hand in it
Long before we ever knew

This weekend is actually going to be one of my busiest I've had all semester until finals. I needed a little me time while Brian worked on some homework. He made dinner tonight as well. Well, he put a salad in a bowl for us. I made steak and corn bread last night, but he did do the dishes two days in a row. We make a great team. Good night.

Random...

Can't sleep again because of pain so its a good time to do a blog post. Have to be up in 5 hours for an ultrasound to see what these painful masses are in my side/abdomen. Hopefully they are not related to the cancer. I'm using positive thinking! :) "Cancer cannot destroy peace, suppress memories, silence courage, conquer the spirit, kill friendship, corrode faith, or cripple love".

This was on my desk last week at work:

I feel so welcomed at my internship which is good because I am super busy and support is great. School and work together has been insane, but adding cancer, surgical procedure (with complications), and severe pain to the mix and you get stress city. I have amazing family, friends, and boyfriend that get me through each day. Brian even bought me 2 dozen pink roses for no reason, other than he loves me. They were the prettiest roses ever!

Truths For Mature Humans



1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.



2. There is nothing worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.



3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.



4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.



5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?



6. Was learning cursive really necessary?



7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.



9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.



10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.



12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.



14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.



17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to pr event a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!



21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.



22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.



Ladies.....Quit Laughing.

Internship/concert,etc...

My internship is so great. I really like the people I work with and the center is so nice. It is such a great learning experience for me! Mondays are long (8-8) but I work less the rest of the week and have more time during other days to do homework. I did about 15 hours of homework yesterday alone. The joys of being a senior with an internship!!! :) As requested by my sister, here are some more pictures of my office.

My computer and AWWW I have a picture of Brian and I!:

My phone. Yes I have my own extension and voicemail, but don't call me LOL:

See I actually have all real walls except one cubical wall. So nice! It looks kind of bare. I have more things hung up now.:

Love Generously, Praise Loudly, Live Fully:

Look I even have 2 windows!!!:

My Dad after getting home from the hospital. He had knee replacement surgery. I won't share the pic my step-mom sent me of his knee and the staples.:

Went to the Switchfoot and Goo Goo Dolls concert!:

Goo Goo Dolls! They were freakin AWESOME:

A drunk woman hit mine and my neighbors mail boxes. She only stopped because my mail box got stuck under her car and she couldn't drive.

She drove all the way through my neighbors yard and almost hit both of their cars.

Quote of the day: "As you grow older, you discover that you have two hands: One for helping yourself, the other for helping others".
I am considered now a "Professional Social Worker", which is a fancy way of saying that I am working as a social work student in the professional field. This quote means a lot to me!

Craziness...

Well the last week or so has been a bit crazy. Last Monday the 16th my Mom and I went to the airport to pick up my niece from the airport for her visit with us. After picking her up and trying to leave the airport, we got rear ended. Of course....I got hurt. I was taken to the emergency room and was in a neck brace and on a back board for 4 hours while they waited for the CT results. I cried in pain and the pain caused so much nausea. It was like pulling teeth just to get anti nausea medication at this particular hospital. Brian stayed with me most of the time. Good thing they had wifi to entertain him because I was strapped down to the board and not too entertaining. Luckily it was just cervical and lumbar sprains and they sent me home with muscle relaxers. I had to miss almost all of day 2 of my internship training at the school due to the pain. Here are some pics. Don't laugh...it felt worse than it looks.

My chin all bruised from the neck brace:

I started my internship on Monday at the Child Crisis Center!! I'm super excited about it. I will be working with children ages 3-11 mainly. I bought a picture frame to bring a pic of Brian and I to work to put in my office. Yes, MY OFFICE!!! I have my own computer, email address, and voicemail box. I went out and bought some professional clothes and yes smaller sizes! I'm a little nervous about the upcoming year of working with actual clients but ready. I'm gonna be super busy. Monday's are my busiest days. I work from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. with a 30 minute lunch. As a social worker I better get used to those kind of hours. Here is a picture of my "inbox" in my office.

I'm sorry but I think this commercial is funny!:

McCoy/Quain Family Reunion...

I went to Brian's family reunion for 4 days near Long Valley, AZ this past weekend. I had such a great time. His family is absolutely wonderful. It was a camping trip. It rained quite a lot and it was pretty cold but was a welcomed change. We spent time under our tarp shelter playing games, eating, chatting, and even had an auction on items donated. We had a dutch oven cook-off and the food was yummy. That was followed by a talent show, joke telling and I roasted marshmallows. Brian enjoyed going through mud puddles and getting his truck good and dirty! We liked sitting by the fire when we were able to have one long enough during times of no rain. Brian and I even stayed up late one night after everyone else went to bed and enjoyed the fire and alone time! Brian's family really welcomed me more than I ever expected. In fact it was said they will be expecting a certain announcement in the mail in the future. They said even if we broke up I better be at the next reunion even if Brian isn't ha ha! One of his family members talked about a box she would make that is perfect to put an engagement ring in. It was hilarious. They were doing this all weekend. It made me feel great that they liked me so much and welcomed me into the family. We got wet and muddy so it was nice to come home to a warm bed and a shower but it really was a blast. I have not been feeling well for days and will probably have an IV treatment today but Brian has been so loving and that helps. I just want to add a little note that July 27th was the 2 year anniversary that I started my blog. My sister did a 3 year anniversary post on her blog and so I looked at mine and realized I just barely missed mine. Blogging rocks! Here are some pics of the trip. I will post more later when I get pics from his family members on facebook.

Before the first storm:

The beginning of the first storm:

The craziness of the first storm:

Sitting under the tarps. Eric, Shelly, Nancy, Debbie and Bill. The tent in the back was our kitchen and you can also see Brian's truck:

Brian and I. We were cold and wet:

Got a fire started with wet wood:

Is it good luck to have 3 cherries on one stem? I thought it was cool:

Brian is in this tent!! His cousins Loy and Noel heard he was still asleep so they collapsed the tent. It was hilarious. He yelled, "April, I need help". :):

This is Loy. She is one of the tent collapsing culprits!:

This is Noel, the other culprit!:

Brian got his frisbee stuck in a tall tree while playing frisbee golf. He was way over par on that one!!!!:

This picture you are sure to love! It's a cow paddy with mushrooms growing out of it:

This is Brian playing the Oreo game:

Dutch Oven cook-off food:

Brian and I. I was cold and dirty. Brian was nice and warm!:

One of the many animals we saw. I decided to name this cow Zorro!:

Starting out on our drive home late Sunday:

Promise ring I was given about a week ago. I love it!!:

A close-up of my promise ring:

Next family reunion is near Cedar, Utah. I have already done an RSVP on facebook! Good times. Thanks to all that made it such a wonderful weekend!

Personality...

So I got a link from a friend that determines your personality based on many questions. "A website about Psychological Type, based primarily upon the works of Carl G. Jung, pioneer psychologist, and of Isabel Briggs Myers, creator of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator". It is quite interesting. It costs 5 dollars but I found it fascinating. My results were really dead on and shows again that I'm going into the right profession. The website is: www.personalitypage.com

I thought I would share my results with you. What do you think?

Portrait of an ESFJ - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
(Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Sensing)

The Caregiver

As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESFJ’s are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJ’s, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.

ESFJ’s are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJ’s are such caring individuals that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJ’s are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.

The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.

ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJ’s who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.

All ESFJ’s have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJ’s are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJ’s should be careful about controlling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.

ESFJ’s respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them.

An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controlling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any.

ESFJ’s incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJ’s will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJ’s are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJ’s will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJ’s will be very feminine.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.