The love of adoption...

I have a lot on my mind tonight as I'm preparing to go back to school in a few days. What gets me through the struggles of school is knowing that someday I will be able to work with birth mothers and adoptive couples in aiding them with the joys and sorrows of adoption. I want to help them through the ups and downs that adoption has and ultimately help the birth mothers make the right decision for their baby no matter what that decision is. I can't wait to see parents hold their babies for the first time. I will never forget B and S and the look on their face when I placed Joseph in their arms and said "here is your son". This is my true destiny in life and I can't wait to do it. There was a lovely woman named Betty Butler who sat in on a birth mother support group I attended back in 2000 that was very touched by my story and wrote a poem about it. It was published somewhere I'm not sure where but not using my name because I have a semi closed adoption. She used the name May instead of April. She originally called it April's Sweet song and changed it to May's sweet song. I still refer to it as April's sweet song! Here it is:

April's Sweet Song

Panic and anguish caused a heavy heart
In how this story got it's start.
A sweet girl startled and all alone
Would eventually choose an adoptive home.
For the little one she carried
Because alas, she was not married.

She knew she couldn't run from the pain
That her child's temple sealing would gain
Because she allowed his life to be spared
No greater sacrifice showed she really cared.
For his future she gifted
Her guilt and shame was lifted.

For nine months of waiting she would write
A journey of her path from darkness to light
Her grief and despair, hopes and dreams
Even her desperate plans and schemes
Of how to keep her baby, live and work
But her baby's future she could not shirk.

A couple, happy, sealed, and sure
Would give the baby something more than her.
She wrote down her hopes and wishes
In a letter sealed with kisses.
To give him something he had to have
Her baby required both a mom and a dad.

She settled into a world of prayer
Guided by God's plan of love and care.
New love for scriptures gave her insight
Taught be the Comforter she would make it right
Through the days of waiting around
She bathed her baby with her sound.

Favorite books she'd read and sing
Primary songs and nursery themes.
She crooned and soothed him with lullabies
She knew she would remember them all and cry.
She was letting go and moving on
She'd always carry their favorite song.

She would send him off with a kiss and hug
A love letter, a Teddy and a song so snug.
That even as decades come and go
Deep in his heart he would always know
There was a birth mom who had loved him before
And sang to him of heaven's angels and more.

She knew he could not be by her side
He needed more than she could provide
But a loving home she could give
By choosing parents with whom he could live.
She wondered how to know this choice was right.
She prayed for guidance day and night.

She believed all that Christ had said,
Blessings assured, she faced the day without dread.
"Knowing I'd put my love on that line."
She knew God would give her a sign.
That all would be forgiven and fine.
She wrote him a letter to explain the plan

She'd found the couple to care for her little man.
She left her love letter, their story, their song
Even though to others he'd now belong.
She had his footprint, a photo and his baby book
She kissed him, then glanced back for one last look.

He smiled at her and raised his hand.
A "thank you" wave from her little man.

Copyright 2000 Betty Butler

When I put him down in his car seat when I was saying good bye he looked me dead in my eyes and had this little grin on his face. He then raised his right hand as if he was waving good bye. He had the biggest brightest eyes and I will never forget it. I felt so strongly that at that moment he knew what was going on. It was amazing. I then walked out the door.